tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4151654388073730172024-03-05T18:57:08.551-08:00The Orange Folder ChroniclesRandom news brought to you from the far reaches of what's acceptablefiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-58773355441224171542016-12-14T08:19:00.003-08:002016-12-14T08:41:37.995-08:00Breaking news! – Trump nominates Kanye West to the newly created Dept. of Narcissism <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
In a bold and decisive decision President elect Donald Trump has chosen rapper and reality star Kanye West to head the newly created Dept. of Narcissism.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWIU0zGQN0TNko8nmp7R-4YpbcCViUM0ykzedI9WXZXMoOWj2OYxVHqmLWtbVH6uVnha8QCgP1BRFMs6rgLqWeEYss4IOuT3Q59HivZ0ra8iyUpnqK2PSPpT88cUrrQYXUPgQeLiWleU/s1600/o-KANYE-WEST-facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWIU0zGQN0TNko8nmp7R-4YpbcCViUM0ykzedI9WXZXMoOWj2OYxVHqmLWtbVH6uVnha8QCgP1BRFMs6rgLqWeEYss4IOuT3Q59HivZ0ra8iyUpnqK2PSPpT88cUrrQYXUPgQeLiWleU/s320/o-KANYE-WEST-facebook.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><u>"You're gonna love me, just like I do"</u></b></div>
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"I can't think of a more qualified candidate for this" Trump stated in an official Tweet. "He's got decades of experience and I'm sure he's more than able to handle this heavy responsablity" he added 20 seconds later.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr3E4cCEaS5F_t7lEnwTMhnS7DfNi7sLLO2q8pmF64GrR5i8WLXbRmY42UExiBedhQeB_ytBAG0Fsn1ta3xs1ZuXHPHJiYyX9Zx2BJ12OIT4cCMbxHkEEhAt40_JjXtFnIdniJGoJBu1E/s1600/Trump+Kanye.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr3E4cCEaS5F_t7lEnwTMhnS7DfNi7sLLO2q8pmF64GrR5i8WLXbRmY42UExiBedhQeB_ytBAG0Fsn1ta3xs1ZuXHPHJiYyX9Zx2BJ12OIT4cCMbxHkEEhAt40_JjXtFnIdniJGoJBu1E/s320/Trump+Kanye.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><u>Proof the world is big enough for two gigantic egos</u></b></div>
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West was not available for comment of course, however, an official spokesperson said Kanye was deep in his own thoughts and would "get back to him at a time that would be best for Kanye".<br />
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Despite the strong desire to score some political damage, the Clinton campaign and the DNC headquarters were forced to admit "Damn, that Trump's pretty much of a genius on that one". Bernie Sanders added "Yea, well I guess that was just too big of a job for Trump to take on by himself so he had to delegate some of it"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIB43VrBRz8-HjmXq_RRYfjYadZJRMgPBbELaU1OdsKUlC0IkAKBijTpuOLbkHpUIQwqACODdnu2CFl6wI-vJzYWCpL9pL2T3t3Va9x2LD8hmPeppytWnjHoQ_-b9ABiHz-6hj7l0arso/s1600/rs_560x415-140618130003-1024.kim-kardashian-sexy-butt-pool-061814.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIB43VrBRz8-HjmXq_RRYfjYadZJRMgPBbELaU1OdsKUlC0IkAKBijTpuOLbkHpUIQwqACODdnu2CFl6wI-vJzYWCpL9pL2T3t3Va9x2LD8hmPeppytWnjHoQ_-b9ABiHz-6hj7l0arso/s320/rs_560x415-140618130003-1024.kim-kardashian-sexy-butt-pool-061814.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><u>Kanye's most redeeming attribute</u></b></div>
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fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-24111821322199947652014-05-09T21:54:00.000-07:002014-05-09T21:54:17.429-07:00The atheists at FacebookSo I took a few photos at a piñata the other day and posted them to Facebook. That's when I figured out how stupid the people who program for Facebook actually are. Take a look at what happened when I posted the photo.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSKj1sj-wUTL2e1A-pD_2kyXaeNtQfjfXuSLhyphenhyphenau-FxcLo1pvLOjmFYNIxEWv4MMj3wz-vxGIvJ3je6Lm5TGJzwQ3h_t_-Wvj0DSBJanhzhwAkdj0BootB6pRNvVceKG-AtbxQzrEOUk/s1600/Jesus+Christ.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSKj1sj-wUTL2e1A-pD_2kyXaeNtQfjfXuSLhyphenhyphenau-FxcLo1pvLOjmFYNIxEWv4MMj3wz-vxGIvJ3je6Lm5TGJzwQ3h_t_-Wvj0DSBJanhzhwAkdj0BootB6pRNvVceKG-AtbxQzrEOUk/s1600/Jesus+Christ.JPG" height="320" width="271" /></a></div>
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<strong><u>Damn, even in Mexico Facebook can't recognize a man named Jesus!</u></strong></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTQrMVPa9vqFFuNOD0QOODUSl7S5m4Cms74feXZvm1_HeiBFUVuvaj-vgTqiSRRQc8dUNOj8R8SfrO2RyXAgSojcWMhCfhYmJnIb3fy0lGCoT9bQMLq5vzahDhjUAy7H-X0qxYKmAbT0/s1600/Flee+Market.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTQrMVPa9vqFFuNOD0QOODUSl7S5m4Cms74feXZvm1_HeiBFUVuvaj-vgTqiSRRQc8dUNOj8R8SfrO2RyXAgSojcWMhCfhYmJnIb3fy0lGCoT9bQMLq5vzahDhjUAy7H-X0qxYKmAbT0/s1600/Flee+Market.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<strong><u>"In Bill Gates we trust"</u></strong></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-31207678020316449552014-02-12T23:01:00.003-08:002014-02-12T23:01:47.735-08:00Who wore it better?Hate to say it there Madonna, but I think the Quaker Oats guy has you beat...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_hsBg17LHMOE6cQmn3SV4B1cMltjlHsQBK9N1yw_RLsrD2txNAbYg4tGqL79cqgSC-Pv2J4lxexwc9if8rXQUaG9A7qTaeIgSH9HpI40lgpU_awFdKM-nzYUyHgnH02A7OTv2O947vTI/s1600/Who+wore+it+better.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_hsBg17LHMOE6cQmn3SV4B1cMltjlHsQBK9N1yw_RLsrD2txNAbYg4tGqL79cqgSC-Pv2J4lxexwc9if8rXQUaG9A7qTaeIgSH9HpI40lgpU_awFdKM-nzYUyHgnH02A7OTv2O947vTI/s1600/Who+wore+it+better.jpg" height="250" width="320" /></a></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-39532623519507150962013-11-20T12:52:00.001-08:002013-11-20T12:52:27.699-08:00How to tell if your coffee cream has gone bad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Don't like sniffing the carton to find out if the cream is spoiled out of fear of getting the double barrel shot of putrid, chunky dairy smell?<br /><br />Well, you could just read the carton. Yep this cream has definitely gone bad...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQY0iqGn1iUcEM5OEeLnbBjPYUnUbLJ5SZQ03gs0uRTKMbBZVf-bEZinUdzEs_jeks1v2zDQ0SKE9s-aWsFc5prN-5nYr-znaMYN-Y4yackftijyrhVstEv8qHnkFjqKgORqIxZ8waQh0/s1600/Bad+cream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQY0iqGn1iUcEM5OEeLnbBjPYUnUbLJ5SZQ03gs0uRTKMbBZVf-bEZinUdzEs_jeks1v2zDQ0SKE9s-aWsFc5prN-5nYr-znaMYN-Y4yackftijyrhVstEv8qHnkFjqKgORqIxZ8waQh0/s320/Bad+cream.jpg" width="293" /></a></div>
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<strong>"...and I poked holes in your eggs too!"</strong><br /></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-55999499357356841362013-10-04T19:51:00.002-07:002013-10-04T19:51:33.760-07:00Meanwhile, down at the house where the lights are on but nobody's home...Hi kiddos, it's been a while. Anyhow, I'm conducting a little experiment here. You may have heard about Republican senator Renee Elmers of North Carolina who voted to shutdown the Federal government and then when asked if she'd be symbolically donating her pay to charity was so stupid as to say:<br />
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<em>"I need my paycheck. That's the bottom line. I understand that there may be some other members who are deferring their paychecks, and I think that's admirable. I'm not in that position."</em><br />
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Well, that's not going to sit real well with the 800,000 or so federal workers (most of whom I bet make a bit less than your $174,000 a year) so not only is she an "insensitive asshole" (is there another kind?) but she's a really crappy politician. Really, how'd you make it that far with the tact of honey badger sweetie.<br />
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I made a little meme for you guys to spread around as punishment for her being such a fucktard. Feel free to post this anywhere you can. I imagine if it goes around the internet enough, she'll change her mind and be doing photo ops while handing out soup to the mentally ill street people.<br />
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Post it high and low everywhere you can.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBd84kY5CgAJu67cyzbjIxWMN07-WFYqfEGqX6VhKzGLXgTG6CI4gUCPZF2AwZVBJqmQz2AlS1Iqzz59Hm2vEii8IP68kAioYV2aidvUgnEmegO2QKb1SNVbmXWgeADoly7fRAcLxS9iY/s1600/Cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBd84kY5CgAJu67cyzbjIxWMN07-WFYqfEGqX6VhKzGLXgTG6CI4gUCPZF2AwZVBJqmQz2AlS1Iqzz59Hm2vEii8IP68kAioYV2aidvUgnEmegO2QKb1SNVbmXWgeADoly7fRAcLxS9iY/s320/Cake.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<strong><u>"I'm not heartless, I'm just a stupid self centered idiot"</u></strong></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-89507366599553451792013-03-28T13:56:00.003-07:002013-03-28T14:00:36.993-07:00The truth, as told by an honest liberal<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There’s been a lot of talk about having some sort of ban on
guns lately and being fans of shooting and blowing stuff up here at the Orange
Folder Chronicles we felt we just had to weigh in on this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, instead of a bunch of heartfelt
verbal ejaculation like you hear from everyone else, we thought we’d go in
search of some data.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, just to
see what we could find…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">OK, so here’s where it gets interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using the most biased liberal trash data I
could find (Huffington Post of course) there have been 2,244 gun deaths (almost
certainly including suicides, a favorite liberal trick to drive up the number)
in the 98 days since the Newtown shootings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here’s their graphic<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about it.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Fluffy title in Huffpo</u>: “Mapping the dead, Gun deaths
since Sandy Hook” – In the 98 days since, guns have killed at least 2244 more
people.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAt4-NtoL1ePkAb7PYQ1co_SwgMDVxrTDFIPkemOM1L_WM5kyqiZinqPxw94JhgnoiqmkNkOF0oGUWfxbeT_IYk1-dexaqHQPoFNprM07f2ID4pNOdov8TCoAwmtu0rzK_maztJfXzDE/s1600/gun-deathsncid=edlinkusaolp00000008.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAt4-NtoL1ePkAb7PYQ1co_SwgMDVxrTDFIPkemOM1L_WM5kyqiZinqPxw94JhgnoiqmkNkOF0oGUWfxbeT_IYk1-dexaqHQPoFNprM07f2ID4pNOdov8TCoAwmtu0rzK_maztJfXzDE/s320/gun-deathsncid=edlinkusaolp00000008.bmp" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Wow, maybe we should just ban people east of Dallas and in
California from owning guns?”<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Linky: </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://data.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/gun-deaths?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008">http://data.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/gun-deaths?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Now that includes all gun deaths of any type.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From domestic violence to robbery to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>suicide to accidental shootings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also included in there are the tiny number of
deaths from mass shootings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>98 days is
.268 of a year so let’s use a little extrapolation and make an assumption that
that’s going to result in a steady 22.9 gun deaths a day (I even rounded up!) for
the rest of the year (I know this is bad science but hey I got the data from a
pretty sketchy source to start with).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s 8,359 gun deaths this year!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow, that sounds like a lot but when you
compare it to real data about all types of death (CDC statistics - I trust
them, they have real scientists working for them instead of journalism majors)
you start seeing some real chinks in the arguments liars like Joe Biden make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s the CDC’s top tally of all causes of
deaths population wide.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sorry, no swanky picture, data is pretty boring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Linky, Linky: </span><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr61/nvsr61_07.pdf"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr61/nvsr61_07.pdf</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Heart diesise<span style="mso-tab-count: 4;"> </span>599,413<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Malignant Neoplasms (cancer)<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>567,628<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chronic lower respitory disease<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>137,353<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cerebrovascular disease<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>128,842<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Accidents (unintentional<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>118,021<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alzheimer’s<span style="mso-tab-count: 4;"> </span>79,003<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Diabetes mellitus<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>68,705<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pneumonia and flu<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>53,909<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nephritis and other liver dieses<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>48,935<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Intentional self-harm (suicide)<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>36,909<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gun violence
isn’t in the top 10?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can that be
when Danny Trejo looks so scary and mean holding one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well it is there in a way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of the 8,359 gun deaths part of those will be
under the 118,021 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“accidents” in #5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, it’s not separated out – just like
“death by drunken Camaro driver” isn’t either (bet there’s more than 8k of
those a year).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoLO2PbZpSRi3lz2LVQs44DZbMJ_7-5ZEdTe08OzViUCmcnPcuGllMRssAKgh-ENIVNi4mOUvFFmcX4_pJaJ1HVFFW6tM4rrw5IGu16UyLJMK1cksC9BOdqMyWuzTGkg0h616Qwgq-B2I/s1600/DAnny+trejo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoLO2PbZpSRi3lz2LVQs44DZbMJ_7-5ZEdTe08OzViUCmcnPcuGllMRssAKgh-ENIVNi4mOUvFFmcX4_pJaJ1HVFFW6tM4rrw5IGu16UyLJMK1cksC9BOdqMyWuzTGkg0h616Qwgq-B2I/s1600/DAnny+trejo.jpg" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>“Eat lead muthafucka!”</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Likewise, I’m assuming that out of the 36,909 people who got
sick and tired of reading trash like the Huffington post, a maximum of one out
of four of them could have shot themselves (however, that’s not going to leave
any for all those dangerous home invaders to shoot so the real number must be
less).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, if you are a guy who actually reads stuff like I do you
too can learn how to twist data around to make it seem worse than it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using this same set of data sorted to
eliminate all the old white and Asian people who were going to die from bad
eating habits anyway we can push gun violence up to the number one spot.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rifling through the data reveals that among black people
aged 15-34, assault is the number one cause of death. Now, if you wanna work
for Huffpo, don’t mention that assault includes all forms of assault like with
guns, knives, baseball bats, fists, numb chucks and frozen turkey legs and
you’ve got graphable material there!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Isn’t parsing data fun?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">People, don’t be turnips here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If Joe Biden wanted to do something “even if
it will save one life” why is he concentrating on the bottom of the list?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Mandatory
national flu shots would save more lives than banning assault rifles!</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, just because some old lady who looks she bakes a mean batch
of chocolate chips cookies tells you that something’s the scourge of the nation
doesn’t mean you have to be a brainless lemming and go along with it do you?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bIcbO64ZwcO-SJxzZldeZwnT3K79F1sp63R-Z6wxcgg33eFGkILAddFtEHWgcpORG31KChbgLw7d_qAt16ra2jUttI2M5cQxJ71c6tKUbYDp4ck584kZA1_0Sxq5aIQD7RGNHEY-0Vc/s1600/Danny+trejo+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bIcbO64ZwcO-SJxzZldeZwnT3K79F1sp63R-Z6wxcgg33eFGkILAddFtEHWgcpORG31KChbgLw7d_qAt16ra2jUttI2M5cQxJ71c6tKUbYDp4ck584kZA1_0Sxq5aIQD7RGNHEY-0Vc/s320/Danny+trejo+dog.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>“Go ahead and ban guns puto, I’ll
kill you by shoving this Dachshund up your ass!”<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-19162425469460243552013-01-23T15:47:00.002-08:002013-01-23T15:48:09.761-08:00More weirdness in MexicoIn Juarez they have special traffic cops called "Transito". All they do is stuff related to traffic like hand out tickets, direct traffic and take bribes (sound thrilling doesn't it?).<br />
<br />
I shot this cop directing traffic yesterday. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpmgjyEq4DlvgMsg2YYn9mr_lj71mbqzB2eRODvK7_zrJ9-vRprFp2bGQMTAaOOdHi9HNDdRUzJNt_FAPJ2bfuWMi3_FT2pEipa65JXb5qvq12sfqFiHwabvXuZS45q-Qmw_RDhHb7cs/s1600/Harley+Jacket+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpmgjyEq4DlvgMsg2YYn9mr_lj71mbqzB2eRODvK7_zrJ9-vRprFp2bGQMTAaOOdHi9HNDdRUzJNt_FAPJ2bfuWMi3_FT2pEipa65JXb5qvq12sfqFiHwabvXuZS45q-Qmw_RDhHb7cs/s320/Harley+Jacket+1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong><u>"Por aca, pinche guey!"</u></strong></div>
<br />
Doesn't look too odd until you get aload of his "offical uniform".<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRfWEs7Arig_Q9p9e9XED1alX0vWwpACwtXyzZs8kTaSUANRQuEnDPta_wHhyphenhyphengy6h55eT9R6xTzbozxOGKy0Ea_obv6fPgN1JtjkPZAt98V5xSQvKTn2a93QJIZHmP5RDg1CjM7gCY7U/s1600/Harley+Jacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRfWEs7Arig_Q9p9e9XED1alX0vWwpACwtXyzZs8kTaSUANRQuEnDPta_wHhyphenhyphengy6h55eT9R6xTzbozxOGKy0Ea_obv6fPgN1JtjkPZAt98V5xSQvKTn2a93QJIZHmP5RDg1CjM7gCY7U/s320/Harley+Jacket.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u>"Son's of Order and Lawfulness"</u></strong></div>
fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-89264634232952289072012-05-11T13:41:00.003-07:002012-05-11T13:41:27.618-07:00Gee Willikers, what’s up with the weird vernacular of Mitt Romney?Mitt Romney seems to be stuck in some sort of slang wormhole. Some of his responses to questions people ask of him seem as if he’s walked off the set of Happy Days. For example, yesterday it seems that some poindexter he held down and tormented at his all excusive prep school came forward to tell the tale of when Mitt and some of his gang of tight actors held him down and called him a fruit. This was followed by a buzz cut to his bundie ass.<br />
<br />
<br />
Romney’s response to this is that he really didn’t remember and if it did happen he’s sure it was “high school hijinx”. Hijinks? Really? Mitt, you sure it wasn’t just a case of the monkeyshines?<br />
<br />
Then there’s the odd case of him telling People magazine that he “Tasted a beer once as a wayward teenager”. It’s like he stepped out of an episode of My Three Sons or something.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ9OnEQS6n4O7Yp2uRvRWB0IxIK4wiYdFiOouOeuEKYYCqvNa975SOg1StY6lO_T3M2N-pAQFlca4y5VlM5RvwIHlcLz7p2j90UQKHiWdb8xH7Mc1XaBd5HgGx-FXbcFnAnTlPvnQpHAw/s1600/Fred+McMurray.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="239px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ9OnEQS6n4O7Yp2uRvRWB0IxIK4wiYdFiOouOeuEKYYCqvNa975SOg1StY6lO_T3M2N-pAQFlca4y5VlM5RvwIHlcLz7p2j90UQKHiWdb8xH7Mc1XaBd5HgGx-FXbcFnAnTlPvnQpHAw/s320/Fred+McMurray.png" width="320px" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u>“By golly, I’ll run for President!”</u></strong></div>
<br />
<br />
What’s with this guy’s “shenanigans” anyway? Well, you’re lucky you’ve got the ace reporters of the Orange Folder Chronicles on your side Daddy-O.<br />
<br />
It took me a while to figure it out but I finally discovered that his speech writers are using old copies of Archie comics to come up with his lines.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiysglMqy-WMogKCrDttYrUel1rWfn70hdtgxsz_vPYW7TFP_jWfEerenzWLrPbN7EViAEcH6VHWfGv9HTiQ1ADkPnNJeWhfYIadCic_MXJ4SAQPfJTvFc6sZB2aUyZdy3g6oAoGDdL6w/s1600/archie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiysglMqy-WMogKCrDttYrUel1rWfn70hdtgxsz_vPYW7TFP_jWfEerenzWLrPbN7EViAEcH6VHWfGv9HTiQ1ADkPnNJeWhfYIadCic_MXJ4SAQPfJTvFc6sZB2aUyZdy3g6oAoGDdL6w/s320/archie.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u>“Hey Betty, you thinking what I'm thinking?”</u></strong></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-50881535456326920032011-12-24T21:33:00.000-08:002011-12-24T22:05:18.762-08:00The weirdest children's Christmas story ever writtenOK, So I'll have to fess up here and admit that "The Orange Folder Chronicles" wasn't given an advance trade copy of this book to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">review</span> so while I haven't actually read it, I bet the story I have in my mind might even be better than the actual book.<br /><br />But seriously, how did this one make it by the nanny patrol? I love the leering look Mr. Claus is giving this concerned looking Ho as "Rudolf the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">wingman</span>" looks on.<br /><br /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 364px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689936237580900834" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdeWiQBeMWlHnSEeSqajNsRzCpzovQKb0HCuasMj350vdSAwj-wgHdWhngciNAx3SHaKYVX0k3pMgsjuGKFUb4JYcam8oBEFsmBuRCKo4O05Xl0e_4vnP5Nkc2ODy7w0GoMfsIybB4O70/s400/Ho.jpg" /><div align="center"> "Nice Ho Santa baby"</div><div align="center"> </div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-58966638540511619492011-11-30T21:43:00.000-08:002011-11-30T21:46:25.209-08:00Reason #57 why it's not cool to be a dumb looking dog<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYpNmcExthQItoHBhw0SMvo0KDyFd-prHZGQ9mqH9QQ35FUHgWechYKbuz9xnAIshBlyGrHw-R9y_Y7NPVuCz0_CqeRyXfp3rmvXmzo7metVlDe-4Z3lQiK3JtD7FBK3Hi26vPTkoilYE/s1600/391954_10151012531680377_212641675376_21763915_610706234_n.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 289px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681031929976843954" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYpNmcExthQItoHBhw0SMvo0KDyFd-prHZGQ9mqH9QQ35FUHgWechYKbuz9xnAIshBlyGrHw-R9y_Y7NPVuCz0_CqeRyXfp3rmvXmzo7metVlDe-4Z3lQiK3JtD7FBK3Hi26vPTkoilYE/s400/391954_10151012531680377_212641675376_21763915_610706234_n.jpg" /></a><strong> "I can't believe I put up with this shit for that cheap ass Wal-mart dog food he buys"<br /></strong><br /></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-2057231000993173932011-08-19T15:50:00.000-07:002011-08-19T15:56:00.348-07:00How to tell when the school photographer just doesn't give a damnThere's dedication to your job and dedication to just "finishing your job". I imagine the guy taking the school photos that day just wanted to shuffle the kids through and get back to the bar.
<br />
<br />
<br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBsAA1NFjPM0jIdcW24-LCllGlMt0ZhHzQwFFqFA0cJHD0vQoj63xQMyJ2O6meOZiUSLWTxaWYVGI04CRi50NpjN9bRCilIxsGOTm9_uM4L9Y37RMFIWQPqKJRU7kGM_cmDdglKNQGnzo/s1600/Bad+school+photos.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642703615447694578" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 330px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBsAA1NFjPM0jIdcW24-LCllGlMt0ZhHzQwFFqFA0cJHD0vQoj63xQMyJ2O6meOZiUSLWTxaWYVGI04CRi50NpjN9bRCilIxsGOTm9_uM4L9Y37RMFIWQPqKJRU7kGM_cmDdglKNQGnzo/s400/Bad+school+photos.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Little</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Jenny</span> redefines <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">photogenic</span>"
<br /></strong>
<br /></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-64537623890081610342011-06-13T15:59:00.001-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.407-07:00Great moments in multi-tasking<div align="left">Here we have what must be one of the greatest demostrations of doing two things at once and doing both of them well.<br /></div><br /><div align="left">I can't state that I know the circumstances that lead to this guy needing to engage in communication in the midst of a power on drift but I like his style.<br /></div><br /><div align="center"><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5617843517089108162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 289px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlS5e-LpqJLpoW4ulypJmkojT6aXnWkP47JADoF8JYiXFX0jK5M7Q2Vs9Osuul9PmS41s-hhDHcg7dOFdkeyd9BXQWQqzqAgajeDtT9GPRI604de6keUhPIQPkYEBfLdoLDPSe0CJ5FT8/s400/Finger.jpg" border="0" /> <br /><p align="center"><strong>"Well fuck you too buddy, but I win since I'm also racing a car while I'm insulting you"<br /></strong><br /></p><br /><p align="left">PS: I freely admit I stole this photo from Hooniverse, who stole it from someone else. Not good form but how could I not share something this great.</p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-64526766697648926322011-06-10T10:00:00.000-07:002011-06-10T10:06:20.926-07:00How to flunk a grade school history project<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Screwing</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">up</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">just</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">seems</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">to</span> come so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">naturally</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">to</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">today</span>'s <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">kids</span>.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5616638338174249426" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 338px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHVLb1j8xWKEuH4_FtDn6bU56kcUHXwO2QfY-C-gHeO9Mjx2TAhI16mU9k84OFEtgCQ2WypGaAZEeJCV8TZwDO5d9A_negmW26urfPWKFz2PbqOF9xLWgHDdA22FHL_TPLqBHPFB1rVEk/s400/259819_10150668673490377_212641675376_19004516_3080403_n.jpg" border="0" />fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-15239432937156720032011-05-20T05:59:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.407-07:00Weird product ideas from the “didn’t think about it” marketing department<div align="left"><strong>#1) 1996 MK III VW Golf Harlequin<br /></strong><br />Under the brilliant guidance of the lowest paid employee at Volkswagen who actually owned a car, the company decided to release the special “Harlequin” edition in 1996.<br /><br />By carefully selecting unbent panels leftover from crash test cars VW was able to create that special “Piece of shit” patina that normally takes 20 years and six owners to create. </div><br /><div align="left"><br /></div><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_j5QaZbZ9xwAZ6gotzzSpOdX8BZb47d1EJoHc0onNX9P-QC2KdOfjE8sj7dnqzywUxKJL3JqvrlGWTCMqn6Xe5f1Q7qZRx9sGwCeMR_5PoC-Uef0tRckgj4Ij1h1cyifW47v01l9gZXA/s1600/harlequin1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608783397340867874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_j5QaZbZ9xwAZ6gotzzSpOdX8BZb47d1EJoHc0onNX9P-QC2KdOfjE8sj7dnqzywUxKJL3JqvrlGWTCMqn6Xe5f1Q7qZRx9sGwCeMR_5PoC-Uef0tRckgj4Ij1h1cyifW47v01l9gZXA/s400/harlequin1.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>“Clowns not included”<br /></strong><br /><br /></div><br /><div align="left">Even stranger still is the apparent reverence VW owners have for a vehicle that looks like it was repaired by “Larry the Cable guy”.<br /><br />264 of these monstrosities were built and just in case you’ve become enamored with thought of driving a car with a salvage title, here’s a link to the Harlequin registry - http://www.rossvw.com/harlequin/<br /></div><br /><div align="left">According to the registry, four different paint schemes were offered. I just wonder what the names of these could have been - “red drivers side door with green hood” perhaps?<br /><br />The car below is for sale – Only $10,500! Yea, that’s a great deal on a 96 golf.<br /><br /></div><br /><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608783407639799362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9pWSYGM-D38VqHtsR2rswCpLoCbv_6-tzUnt2mCkG3iqsp_wbhfbNNufbJ1KnR8IeD64r02xKJ8GomuftrApxixHH0pfQ6ScXekp0-fU2LsDtoO4HiN0wCYv8mUyHpL7JGC7AuA45gs/s400/4.bmp" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608783401452282898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMWFalSpajpH-YKms0_fOEOWYStow9ND2YmCXDfB7Aw4IhngFhwXlVgX5hZW2zYEKJscMR6ip6XefwNzlaHQPr2Ha6PRnYaltUn7nC-CFIWkVFDKK-Xl3JORmKrj5rjnCj5p-WNrAy0ws/s400/2.bmp" border="0" /> <br /><p align="center"><strong>Why does every Volkswagen on the planet have a "shocker" sticker on the bumper?<br /><br /></strong><br /></p><strong>#2) Hello Kitty Armaments<br /></strong><br />Various guys at the NRA and bored gun manufacturers are always trying to convince the women of the world that the use of deadly force should be cute and sweet, thus the rise of the pink gun.<br /><br />No matter what gun shop or sporting goods store you go in, there’s always one (and never more than one) pink Lady Smith & Wesson in the case or pink child’s size .22 rifle at the far end of the rack.<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMAOUozcb6Si6tibHKY_H2iegyWChbey5bCLs8OBjg_m2ofAx4lqfnDY6Y7qQXaOVeurcWmmkvQ3OFA_BZcsPwW0qoOIHPXeA0YN8u5DOrQVljau2_T2vk4iu1lIqtVK2LpLAYHReVrU/s1600/24839_10150142159225377_212641675376_11480401_6757818_n.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608782904343932626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMAOUozcb6Si6tibHKY_H2iegyWChbey5bCLs8OBjg_m2ofAx4lqfnDY6Y7qQXaOVeurcWmmkvQ3OFA_BZcsPwW0qoOIHPXeA0YN8u5DOrQVljau2_T2vk4iu1lIqtVK2LpLAYHReVrU/s400/24839_10150142159225377_212641675376_11480401_6757818_n.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Exactly the person I think of when I see a pink gun for sale<br /></strong><br /></div>Sensing that plain girly pink wasn’t exactly spurring sales, various gun customizers have taken it upon themselves to offer special Hello Kitty shotguns and rifles.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608890202411310066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 344px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkJW7Id7TTs1pXpV-AmHOAU3iI-qGw0-9MPaCSIOYFLaN_IYwN8Fjn2PVWhMCu8qweWqjjpt9kGs8dRmczBPGFgeCQp7ZPTNo7lJ8A1milRPJ_c1HINhIMEYSQJryMe5-bOQrh3nx8ow/s400/Hello+Kitty+shotgun+modifed.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><strong>“Hands up or I’ll blow the stuffing outta ya!”</strong><br /></div><br /><div align="left"><br />It must be working, check out this happy owner of the Hello Kitty AR-15 </div><br /><div align="left"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt34AH_y06wEDOgA9fwTdvy6T8w3Itp7IOyq0UD_RXuLCunTsg-seC2-hg604rS9mlFPAhq7qJj9gRjeLz4BV1L8aLD3OLHiI1O0rbc3jpQM4DsXHIeFs_oMtbsHnkHfxcEVCzyFydUYY/s1600/hellokitty_ar15assault_2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608782889980259330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt34AH_y06wEDOgA9fwTdvy6T8w3Itp7IOyq0UD_RXuLCunTsg-seC2-hg604rS9mlFPAhq7qJj9gRjeLz4BV1L8aLD3OLHiI1O0rbc3jpQM4DsXHIeFs_oMtbsHnkHfxcEVCzyFydUYY/s400/hellokitty_ar15assault_2.jpg" border="0" /> <br /><p align="center"></a><br /><strong>“Sweetie, would you be a dear and go down to Walgreens and get me some tampons?”<br /></strong><br /></p><br /><p align="left">I have to be honest here and admit that there’s some dark sick and twisted part of me that really wants to walk in the local Bank of America with my Hello Kitty shotgun and demand a refund of my share of the TARP bailout money.<br /><br />My personal favorite, however, is the limited edition Hello Kitty Kalashnikov with the optional knitted buttstock cozy.<br /></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOoeNM805ZuQojD7jt341cqJHft6EaQH5mqUIeoCfvP_csnfDVx6XqjrvqSPgtRP80uexhzpR1KYYhAHEXAYgmrueHmq2nHNxX6QWkMzcQZq0PeXfgXdtPOj6saBOuW7C1swu_vPzcs54/s1600/hk47.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608782888238958626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 180px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOoeNM805ZuQojD7jt341cqJHft6EaQH5mqUIeoCfvP_csnfDVx6XqjrvqSPgtRP80uexhzpR1KYYhAHEXAYgmrueHmq2nHNxX6QWkMzcQZq0PeXfgXdtPOj6saBOuW7C1swu_vPzcs54/s400/hk47.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><strong>#3) Lewd fishing equipment<br /></strong><br />Really, this thing is so wrong on many levels. First of all is the obvious. I think the local police dept. posts an amber alert just in case every time one of these is sold.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608782900086191282" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 277px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDgcoiM0oXaYJhoxDTsKpDiw0BQQpqGan2G3f448vc7TSqnoAkukeC1h7m5c9jlMbIBEb7Gv1RN0040Btk1So5fmV54QDGUFNDZO38SDQy5hl4Uf3KqzeM91YdzlQaYBNHDZWnYP_eJkk/s400/fishingshorts1.jpg" border="0" /> <br /><p align="center"><strong>“Hey guys, check out my pole!”<br /></strong><br /></p><br /><p align="left">It sorta makes me want to get one and put it on and walk around the mall just to see what happens (not really, pepper spray and tazers leave a helluva hangover).<br /><br />Looking like a perverted captain Ahab aside, who want to battle a monster trout by having a fishing pole jammed in their nuts anyway?<br /><br />I suppose if you can get your mind off fishing for just a little while it might make sense. Can I see the catalog of attachments for it?<br /><br /><strong>#4) Darth Vader collectible plate<br /></strong><br />This is going to look peachy in Nana’s china cabinet next to the Hummels.</p><br /><p align="center"><br /></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608783390253118850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 398px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKiolcmL1jnyVSViKr4kL-kTU2sNeMMGB-ABylvyejRB_yXVUWiRhaDsFV6dKxK3-7UEv6NKxks78_VWATT0NeWQJKSdvOFDQnAwKEMRomQ32TKdkLYfv24RXP-NYJGmB5VpkITJDwiZU/s400/76936_10150335662085377_212641675376_15685121_7960789_n.jpg" border="0" /> <br /><p align="center"><strong>“Use your change purse Luke”</strong></p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-21769786399098604462011-04-29T15:11:00.001-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.408-07:00Royal wedding - Photo of the day<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkck7bInvNPM87e8VfxRlOUTgIcaudkx9NUfeZpzooSmRKmXJKyxiAkVEEf9uv1EqrWQoGvekUq1K51unt97soAXt5n2zl8S7_XQBiUEOCG9yTDnFZQLUAoFREC09aa2rAsMZKQ5MvxI/s1600/Royal+wedding+photo+of+the+day.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601131878488665874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 290px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkck7bInvNPM87e8VfxRlOUTgIcaudkx9NUfeZpzooSmRKmXJKyxiAkVEEf9uv1EqrWQoGvekUq1K51unt97soAXt5n2zl8S7_XQBiUEOCG9yTDnFZQLUAoFREC09aa2rAsMZKQ5MvxI/s400/Royal+wedding+photo+of+the+day.jpg" border="0" /></a></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-39743051032181355622011-04-08T20:39:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.409-07:00Irony - Part 2Today I was late leaving work because I was messing around on the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">internet</span> checking eBay, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Facebook</span> and all those other sites that that are so popular with those of us who'd rather not be working. Good thing too because my tardiness seems to have prevented me from being an eyewitness to the ventilation of this Suburban. The truck has "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Servicios</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Funerarias</span>" written on the side - "Funeral Services". <br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593425507887950050" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuPutCUFmq0dVgBEm5BvQtkJDAaaBX4AVez71XsXvs3HTx6sqsEYuhKQ5C38edZ7xGFHsYBQr-9ZwL_egyQNOnho9CzV8eG3OiAS2AfL0EHMlEt_BPlpFrbXYpdJFrVa6CsdcLl2oNN4/s400/AG080249.JPG" /></p><br /><p>Particulars from Channel 44 News about the crime:</p><br /><p>Police collected 7 S&W .40 caliber shell casings from the street. The owner of "Funeraria Rios"Juan Rios, aged 43, and his employee, aged 34, both died at the scene.</p><br /><p>This sort of crime is very common in Juarez and usually results from buisnesses not paying their "cuota" or protection money. Either that or someone wasn't pleased with the undertaker's work.</p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-12986453905000123632011-03-28T13:27:00.001-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.409-07:00Irony<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjprhFkPNFCBUfvmGN-9uk3h3Ku6YiXiQVHrBKQ74ahFEil_-yQcc6zQRurYEtJ9UcBcchFiaMbk-joy_GqqFxa2cR9QeN-yuQUxjVq65AHXSwBFCkIgsllMQyjz5iPRaV1FQ0fl_QQJHQ/s1600/flat+tire.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589230281566979698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 264px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjprhFkPNFCBUfvmGN-9uk3h3Ku6YiXiQVHrBKQ74ahFEil_-yQcc6zQRurYEtJ9UcBcchFiaMbk-joy_GqqFxa2cR9QeN-yuQUxjVq65AHXSwBFCkIgsllMQyjz5iPRaV1FQ0fl_QQJHQ/s400/flat+tire.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong> "Crap, the jack is under all these tires!" </strong></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-31452277138304508862011-03-25T12:27:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.410-07:00NPR – Cheaper than Death from above<p align="left"><p align="left">The Corporation for Public Broadcasting receives around $400 million from the federal government. Of that, about 75% is used to fund public television and the rest goes to NPR. According to the Washington Examiner, they get about $90 million a year from the federal government.<br /><br />Recent debate in the House of Representatives is looking at cutting this expense as a means of deficit reduction (after all, aren’t there better ways to spend taxpayer’s money than on radio programming for people in rural Kanas? - "The object of this bill is to get NPR out of the taxpayer's pocket," said Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn. "It is time for us to be good stewards and save the money of the American taxpayer.")<br /><br /><a href="http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/congress/2011/03/house-votes-cut-npr-funding">http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/congress/2011/03/house-votes-cut-npr-funding</a><br /><br />Now, I can’t really comment on that but two days ago, John Boehner, the Republican speaker of the house, started bashing the Obama administration over the establishment of a “no fly zone” above Libya.<br /><br />He asked what the ultimate goal is in enforcing UN resolution 1973 and what the cost would be.<br /><br />Well Boehner, we here at The Orange Folder Chronicles get what a dumb shit you are so here’s a little help answering the second part of your question (I can’t figure out the first part either so you’ll need to continue with your polite questions to President Obama on that one).</p><p><br /></p><p align="center"></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588101780898198146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjed7K_bgB_0-0NXoMojn4Q2lt5mXvSCemdBv6ApelCdC7cPVzMWOE8HrmFeces9NnAYFdhjRe5yVal-dR7Rab2ssMyVWMI8vcVnECQRMdRrmAs23iscTPHlrggQqkvk1pgpXj36HWRyP0/s400/John-Boehner.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="center"><strong>“Now wait a minute, you know math is hard”</strong> </p><p align="left">I have no idea what it costs to fly a sortie in an F-15 and definitely don’t know about flying one in an F-16 so lets just stick to the cost of firing cruise missiles, which I figure is like the grownups version of a bottle rocket fight.<br /><br />According to “The Guardian” (assuming you can trust limeys, which I think we can since they have such cute girls) the American’s have fired 168 missiles so far:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/25/raf-role-libya-no-fly-modest">http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/25/raf-role-libya-no-fly-modest</a> </p><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588102168222140914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 315px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7diaLTBl6CRa7kTAYu81cHCNv3GOX8JqFhhs99FU9_nW6GEQRF5V44HS76mKvI8010xw8ErwckVxSps0pthIpTnnOvDo8U_98rABursxGmH5IJ-oq7gDQbgaZOn7OOqRJUd1Za_pTzuY/s400/Elizabeth-Hurley+-+Use.jpg" border="0" /> <strong>Elisabeth Hurley, a trustworthy Brit</strong></p><p align="center"><strong></strong><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588102442874634578" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 241px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb5kBgtLkIpEBoZT62wfeO-9deJks_JNeLMN0oxkaiu8GnMgGa4sXoRlhgZOhtgvq5avtNb72uZrPPH6-vtGx_M_eqDyE-D6M0wWdIQHpTdA9u-g4eZKoIR8gxmpzWyY1U9cZGePCf31w/s400/Kate-Middleton-jeans.jpg" border="0" /> <strong>Kate Middleton, another cute chick from “Tealandia”</strong></p><p align="left">Also, according the US Navy (we know we can trust them, they never lie) each one of these costs $569,000, which compared to a bottle rocket is probably pretty reasonable since you get a much cooler explosion.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.navy.mil/navydata/fact_display.asp?cid=2200&tid=1300&ct=2">http://www.navy.mil/navydata/fact_display.asp?cid=2200&tid=1300&ct=2</a></p><br /><p></p><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588102858628100210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 212px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisD1nL7b5yXwHIk75xjiMM5e1PLLu8_M0dQF2zyu7sJeySGiT_HdKRXUM3seg5eJ0rJaYASPLsNmdzXj3LgzSnKhRuNJTBMqCBiyAk_UWsDHvJLvPWmQAuq34sKTClzPa9uatWmBT9LF0/s400/cruise-missile-intro.jpg" border="0" /></p><p align="center"><strong>It’s shaped like that for a reason</strong></p><p align="center"><strong></strong></p><p align="left">So mister Boehner, using my $2 Chinese calculator I get about $95,592,000 just for the missiles. Add to that the fuel for the sub (I think uranium is slightly higher than the $3.54 a gallon regular gas my Ford Ranger uses), the cost of paying all those sailors, the donuts you had in your office while writing your latest silly rant and so on. I think we can safely say that this little action cost a tad more than a years worth of stinking liberal biased radio programs. Does that help you out Mr. Speaker?<br /></p><br /><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588103263279078498" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 166px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpySANX3tBQoHWOowvvIa0GAS3JfDk5nqbysYo04f1fUSKl0XYDn4Wl3BVtO34Ahxps6PIVMuh59u-0LVf1x2EHetFf0yHnlj_6opMHGQKskYo4ZR6U1In_w9ZZ50Do3zV_GZ0vOOXPtA/s400/Cars+CAr+talk.bmp" border="0" /><br /><strong>“So you say your Republican congress is making a lot of noise?” “Sell it, it’s a lemon!”<br /></strong></p><p></p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-5513744209952342402011-02-28T13:52:00.000-08:002011-06-15T11:34:26.411-07:00If you're gonna build something, make it interesting<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578862076143794898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 307px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUryCmRmBxiKqMXp3oai28wUVhmSQWAdury-jN5kn3pY5gEo5f-8ahrCWep1kEzLJ1L2Ajdbj5GeXM5w6pzUvfNAlOlczqtpiXOrqPU8JiKW-ysEZ2TQnSi4FnTJDPuB3vx6F7TmVmm8/s400/35745_1208873081446_1817291497_426011_357512_n.jpg" border="0" />fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-9371422943862256462010-12-02T12:54:00.000-08:002011-06-15T11:34:26.411-07:00Daily suggestion on how to have a kickass dayTip #27 - How to have a kick ass day<br /><div></div><br /><div>"Find money walking across the parking lot of Wal-Mart"</div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5546192138539365122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdWMQPFQEyZrMXv4SiJHvXSuk8A_tKDIvP-kAKFSphIPbiPxNqt2XnshG2gtaxQbEG6WoeXUJbZ1oaUbdT1-8vRXBEaOkCUJ3a91sI3FkPv7EZJKVX6dVZ35Bx2ra2L7DV8hsNUzxC53w/s400/MVC-001F.JPG" border="0" /><br /><div></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-50803973516069903142010-11-03T11:40:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.412-07:00It’s a pomegranate world whether you want it or not<div align="left">Whenever I manage to find something I like, I generally stick with it and don’t feel much obligation to change. Change is only good if it’s better.<br /><br />I can't begain to tell you how many of my favorite things have been discontinued just to make way for something "new and improved".<br /><br />For example, I grew up in a simpler time when juice came in flavors like orange, apple or grape. There was no need for exotic stuff or weird blends.<br /><br />Anything fruit flavored was based off these simple flavors and it never got more unusual than maybe raspberry or cherry.<br /><br />In the 80s however, something seems to have gone awry. Someone discovered that they had these large weird green berries in the land of goofy animals and suddenly everyone on the planet was trying to figure out what they could stick kiwis in that had never had it before.<br /></div><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535397602200520306" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 363px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 356px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-M55ygEUY-BYsIQIHHdYkQhCYj0M9QgoC6B2y8NpWrLAUCFGmp57hfAL1RvSRNU9sfY5flnVm8IOFyATpHnp1yjY905mbSY6Cn9LP-o3tNdDX1zS8T6W75SDJE92oMhamWRnB-LQRAc4/s400/Kiwi.bmp" border="0" /><br /><p align="center"><strong>So who was the first guy to think "That looks like a fuzzy green testitcle, let's try it out" anyway?<br /></p><p></strong>Kiwi wasn’t really good enough by itself so you had to mix it with something else, usually bananas. I never have liked bananas so I never really like the weird mixtures of kiwi either. Kiwis are OK by themselves but to be honest, it’s just not as good as orange, apple, grape, cherry and the oh so exotic raspberry.<br /><br />Apparently enough people like having kiwis mixed with other crap though that it was deemed a success. I’ve got no real beef with that except once kiwis became “de riguer” the entire product development staff at every large food conglomerate suddenly seems to have realized that they have to keep concocting weird ass tropical fruit flavors or there is really no justification for their jobs.<br /><br />So, starting in the 90s legions of people with no real purpose in life started concocting all sorts of bizarre and clearly inferior mixtures of whatever oddball fruits and flowers they could find on the internet. It became like the great race to the south pole and eventually jumped the shark.<br /><br />Mangos, dragonberrry, quince or whatever oddity you could find a native eating began to infiltrate the food isle. Weird flowers and spices are starting to appear. Pomegranates and some nasty tasting thing called Acai berry have risen to the top lately as the Lindsey Lohans of weirdo fruit of the day.<br /><br />To be honest, pomegranates suck as food. You have to pick at them, they are full of seeds and the flavor is mediocre at best. It’s sorta like trying to unwind the rubber bands on a golf ball core just to find out there’s nothing more interesting inside than a rubber ball (of course, I’m sure golf balls aren’t made that way anymore. There’s something new and exciting now like Nike balls made out of titanium hair wound around a balled up core of Tiger Wood’s tramp’s phone numbers or something) </p><p></p><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535400639749965410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 355px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY44O9Z7tM7tB-DKzXb-9SrneISUaQhW7o420duvp4Dpr8dirF_jSUBGjAn3u-YIxe0-1bi-FR3raA-CLvQYDi2-I_iPEuqru32u86vJ4jaDbErbwgs29m1dM6cmTERzF66UqGlo8YaDU/s400/Rachel+Uchitel+puts+the+Tiger+Woods+scandal+behind+her+with+a+walk+on+the+beach+3.jpg" border="0" /><strong>Gratuitus photo of Racheal Uchitel nearly naked<br /><br /></strong></p><p align="left">Problem is, there is only so much shelf space on a rack so to make room for all these weird flavors, something’s gotta go. Well, have you noticed lately how you can hardly ever find plain old orange soda or grape gum down at your local zippy mart? To hell with that, we need something new and fashionable like pomegranate mango.<br /><br />I’ve had this habit of drinking wine coolers instead of soda since the 80s. They taste good and aren’t as sweet as soda and I just like em. That’s about to end though as now the only tolerable flavor left is something called “Seagrams Exotic Berry” (raspberry flavored) and even that’s getting hard to find.<br /><br />Gone are lemon-lime, orange, lemonade etc. They’ve been replaced with weird stuff like “Calypso cooler” (this is bright blue colored) and “Jamaica me Happy” or “Fuzzy Navel”. Ad men suck alright. I have to confess that drinking wine coolers is a bit “frue-frie” at best but it’s downright intolerable to be drinking something that tastes weird and has a name only Richard Simmons could appreciate.<br /><br />However, this is what broke the back of this old camel. I went to loot out the kids Halloween candy and boosted a Tootsie pop. The wrapper looked a bit off to me so I looked a little closer and saw this:<br /><br /><br /></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535395608546111218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNTlj35zIR50cCf40VkfKsbB_GIQMCJirwYgR4xsFjTSIWiuqCAEbc8zd5KlUVgJ7JGriM3tJq8657eHI_uswzQhQulZqWDZGK7hknJpDvzkwpzK0pSqvQR6JUtYdaTQy2Ymc_9Ya5ns/s400/MVC-001F.JPG" border="0" /><br /><p align="center"><strong>Come on people, - You know this isn't right!</strong></p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-9234611661099976402010-10-26T14:36:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.413-07:00Before YouTube there was the Xerox machineThe other day while I was sorting out and tossing old papers, I realized that I’m old enough to remember some stuff that has gone the way of the Cold War.<br /><br />For example, I can still recall the putrid smell of purple mimeograph fluid (and the uncontrollable urge to sniff a fresh copy even though it smelled like puke).<br /><br />Most of all, I remember what it was like to fuck off at work before email and the internet. Back when office correspondence came to you in a brown reusable envelope with a red string closure, nearly everyone below the rank of area manager had some sort of “copier joke” tacked to the wall in their work area.<br /><br />These were usually tattered sheets that had been copied over and over so many times they were barely readable, covered in defects and spots like an octogenarian’s DNA.<br /><br />At one point they were ubiquitous. You could travel from one business to another one on the other side of the country and there’d be the same blurry page taped to the side of a filing cabinet. I remember wondering who could have drawn the originals and exactly how old were they? Copiers date back to the late 1950s but the mimeograph was invented back in the 1870s.<br /><br />While digging through my old papers, I ran across a small stash of these. Most of the ones I had inadvertently saved were just simple text with jokes like “Stress is the body’s reaction to resisting the natural urge to kick the shit out of someone who desperately deserves it” or compilations of made up corporate sounding acronyms that spelled out variations of the word “shit”.<br /><br />There were two of these though that were universal. No matter whether you were in a government office or a warehouse you’d see these two taped up in all their yellowed glory to some cubicle.<br /><br />The first of these was Snoopy’s work week. He starts out dancing on Sunday and progresses miserably through the week, slowly improving towards the weekend. Girls always had this one.<br /><div><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532472599521874386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 309px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLZTFASlN7ZNwwhukXncBuV2RUvRiRDcZgLP-Q7Atsk2Hy2fdxeeuKuIRjPiY0_9b7Y0hkXi1qGWuHHbINDTb0-v-6ophhXX-ZiUPF784bKwN5u1_Ijm-Dc1xhpJPvQKYU2dRFWE_8XNY/s400/Typical+Work+Week+Snoopy+Cartoon.png" border="0" /><br /><div>The only one of these more common than the “Snoopy at work” was “Never give up”. Say those words to anyone who remembers the first brick cell phone and this is what comes to mind:<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532473699602165042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 284px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5QnPXMXMIMhIp6aBwHXowA5Uyq94mzIAJwW5tmlj4r2sJf6_2fT9XZYCSe7mzvD3pMf-n30nAT3yNUE6c0TjFaessuoBPeVnuE0qTm0CeEIk-NG5e8EiA_Sc7ayG9iyjDyBqvURaVOg/s400/Never+give+up.bmp" border="0" /></div>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-14844997594680737792010-09-20T08:30:00.001-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.413-07:00He must have really liked that carHere’s a vintage photo of unknown origin of a guy who went to extraordinary steps to save his car from a flood. I’m assuming the car did not run or he would have just driven it someplace safe.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5519018653004302802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 261px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieY38suG5r3iH-QRgHmHTj9sb-7zJKVNbmjKgCpyRTxuXhejc7NRQI-KTCpB0TM7B_UoKBUxZ0R1TOI5s7f-r0XRaIYVlMRnJrdAminQml3VaoFJjuNVHBlwCeT-RY1Cne06OxZz9M-2Y/s400/Car+in+a+tree.jpg" border="0" /><br />I hope all that water didn’t loosen up the soil and cause the tree to fall over from all the weight hanging off one side of it . It would be a real bitch to do all that and come back and find your flooded car with a huge tree on top of it. Note the house on the right is completely flooded out.fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415165438807373017.post-32716465125244079732010-09-16T13:48:00.000-07:002011-06-15T11:34:26.414-07:00South Africa’s contribution to a more irritating worldSo last night I decided to go down to “Plaza de Largartos” in El Paso to see “the grito” or the traditional cry of independence of Mexico. It was being held in El Paso this year instead of Juarez because Reyes Ferris, the mayor of Juarez (who wisely lives in El Paso) decided that it was too insecure to host the bicentennial Independence Day celebration of Mexico from Spain in Mexico and the whole thing was moved across the border into the US.<br /><br />After driving around for an hour around the area cordoned off by the El Paso police (who unlike the various Mexican police are doing their jobs instead of shooting at each other) I finally parked and started walking toward the celebrations.<br /><br />I knew from 4 blocks away it was going to be unpleasant. The sound wafting around the buildings was familiar and I knew immediately that the 2010 World Cup has forever changed the world into a less enjoyable place. That irritating bleat of vuvuzelas was growing louder as I got closer. Seems some enterprising soul had gathered up all the leftover red white and green horns unsold after Mexico got knocked out of the World Cup and remarketed them as holiday noisemakers.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517616682141326818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 225px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHC17ViQVm19gxncQLoTy9zwhLLOqfyRdDy5mmrnVaAipNb15VDhyphenhyphenGeKgX64_ZgtHnLPtnIoDvdoOvGf1s5OnbtOaxQwsbQDqNWRWTrv3GFZ3Jm-anPSiv-c467fU3jhz-EmoAqu_9E8E/s400/vuvuzela.jpg" border="0" /><br />The typical vuvuzela owner is a kid about 3-4 feet tall or 5-6 feet tall at the end of his horn, which puts the damn thing right at ear level. After about 30 minutes of being deafened by every third passing kid, I knew it was time to leave and went to Taco Tote to watch the whole thing on TV. Definitely the right decision since they weren’t selling beer downtown and the national fireworks in D. F. were stunning.<br /><br />Today is the 200th year of independence of Mexico from Spain, which our local narcos celebrated by adding some red to this green and white taxi on Ave. De Technologico.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517616689973825346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 205px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaW0ivmqmL0BrvLyyDItlCJsebepBwvUIAG1nXgwGmogEkOcAH6SGZc6GBA4w71ov5bvvKvHNKifmhPtkwDkXEFHKgDAKa2bmf-GWrBMJe9RyJ64jBa58uG8c9KtvGxJP5Y4_VCPlQl8k/s400/Taxi2.JPG" border="0" /> <p align="center"><strong>"Viva Mexico!"</strong></p>fiat128http://www.blogger.com/profile/05619984030104352411noreply@blogger.com0