NPR – Cheaper than Death from above

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting receives around $400 million from the federal government. Of that, about 75% is used to fund public television and the rest goes to NPR. According to the Washington Examiner, they get about $90 million a year from the federal government.

Recent debate in the House of Representatives is looking at cutting this expense as a means of deficit reduction (after all, aren’t there better ways to spend taxpayer’s money than on radio programming for people in rural Kanas? - "The object of this bill is to get NPR out of the taxpayer's pocket," said Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn. "It is time for us to be good stewards and save the money of the American taxpayer.")

http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/congress/2011/03/house-votes-cut-npr-funding

Now, I can’t really comment on that but two days ago, John Boehner, the Republican speaker of the house, started bashing the Obama administration over the establishment of a “no fly zone” above Libya.

He asked what the ultimate goal is in enforcing UN resolution 1973 and what the cost would be.

Well Boehner, we here at The Orange Folder Chronicles get what a dumb shit you are so here’s a little help answering the second part of your question (I can’t figure out the first part either so you’ll need to continue with your polite questions to President Obama on that one).

“Now wait a minute, you know math is hard”

I have no idea what it costs to fly a sortie in an F-15 and definitely don’t know about flying one in an F-16 so lets just stick to the cost of firing cruise missiles, which I figure is like the grownups version of a bottle rocket fight.

According to “The Guardian” (assuming you can trust limeys, which I think we can since they have such cute girls) the American’s have fired 168 missiles so far:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/25/raf-role-libya-no-fly-modest

Elisabeth Hurley, a trustworthy Brit

Kate Middleton, another cute chick from “Tealandia”

Also, according the US Navy (we know we can trust them, they never lie) each one of these costs $569,000, which compared to a bottle rocket is probably pretty reasonable since you get a much cooler explosion.

http://www.navy.mil/navydata/fact_display.asp?cid=2200&tid=1300&ct=2

It’s shaped like that for a reason

So mister Boehner, using my $2 Chinese calculator I get about $95,592,000 just for the missiles. Add to that the fuel for the sub (I think uranium is slightly higher than the $3.54 a gallon regular gas my Ford Ranger uses), the cost of paying all those sailors, the donuts you had in your office while writing your latest silly rant and so on. I think we can safely say that this little action cost a tad more than a years worth of stinking liberal biased radio programs. Does that help you out Mr. Speaker?

“So you say your Republican congress is making a lot of noise?” “Sell it, it’s a lemon!”

Islamic gay bar at ground zero?

So it seems in the furor that has erupted over the building of “something by Muslims” near the site of ground zero in New York , conservative blogger Greg Gutfeld has come up with his own novel response to this.

He has proposed the building of a "islamic freindly" gay bar next door. I guess the logic behind this is that Muslims find homosexuality to be an affront against Islam and would be equally offended as he is to building “a mosque” next to the former site of the World Trade Center.

Here’s his entire proposal, including the part about not serving alcohol in his bar since Muslims “don’t drink”: http://www.dailygut.com/?i=4696

However, I can’t get over some conservatives proposing opening a gay bar. This has got to be a first or at least the first time they’ve been willing to admit they consider gays more “American” or “normal” than Muslims.

I suppose there’s a master ranking of “hated people” tacked up on the walnut panelling in some smoke filled backroom of the RNC national headquarters up in the Hamptons or something.

I’m curious though, what does a conservative gay bar look like anyway?

Do you open the door and walk into a tiny room full of coats?

Vote for me or I’ll bust yo’ fool haid!

I was pretty astounded this morning to read in the WSJ that Lawrence Tureaud, who is otherwise know as “Mr T”, has announced his bid for Republican Party candidate in the 2012 Presidential election. Mr T is famous for playing B.A. Barracks on the original “A-Team” TV show, an iconic cultural gem from American television. The interview, which I suspect must be some sort of comeback bid for it's bizarreness, was conducted in the parking lot of a Chicago Tastee-Freeze. He was quoted as saying “Barack Obama is sissy-boy! I can give him a beat down with one hand!”. When asked about his apparent lack of political experience, his response was “I ain’t no worse than Bush fool!”

He also stated that his decision to run as a Republican had something to do with not being a “granola eatin’ wimp”.

During the interview Mr. T seemed to be quite at ease and answered most of the questions directly, except for how comfortable he thought he’d be riding on Air Force One. It’s quite possible that he may have misunderstood this question as his answer was “I ain’t gittin on no plane.”

Whether or not he’d make a good president, I would have to probably side with him that he “ain’t no worse than Bush. Good luck Mr. Tureaud and I will be looking forward to seeing a primer black and red van in the presidential motorcade.

“Check the date fool!”

Sharia vacation photos

"Smile Neda and don't forget to remember where you were standing in line"

Cash for clunkers, but where are the clunkers???

So yesterday in a self abusing exercise I decided to drive behind my local Pontiac & Chrysler dealers and see what people are turning in as clunkers.

What I saw truly makes me sick. Top of the list is this very nice looking BMW 735i. Someone seriously drove this into the Pontiac dealer and drove out in one of their discontinued shitboxes???? PEOPLE – What the fuck are you smoking????

“You know, this leather interior is too nice, I’d rather sit on some scratchy cheap ass cloth and listen to the engine strain in a rebadged Korean built G3”

Across the street, some idiot got rid of this Mercedes in exchange for a Dodge Caliber or PT Cruiser. No, it did not have a bad paint job – those streaks on the hood were caused by the overheating engine as they murdered it. The grille? That appears to have been taken home as a trophy by some service guy as it’s been carefully removed.

I’m not a big fan of using a pickup truck to drive around in all the time but I own one and it’s real nice to haul things in. Mine is a 1969 Chevy C-20 bought from the state of NC in a sealed bid auction for the princely sum of $503.99. It’s state yellow and rust colored and has a toolbox bed with diamond plate welded in the floor. Not very attractive but it does the job.

Far less attractive than these “clunkers” for sure. Of special note is the nice Chevy Stepside with the custom paint job. Paint that was blistered off the hood as it was blown up under the most wasteful government program ever conceived by city dwellers who want your ass on a bus.

No rust, I live in the desert!

Who’s definition of “piece of shit” does this fall under?

There’s going to be alot of lonely boats out there

This old Ford was super clean, in fact it looked like it had just been painted.

Another BMW, that just sucks. BMWs are great cars.

America is now the “land of the bailout”. Can’t run a bank? “No problem, we’ve got a government program to bail you out!” “Mismanaged your auto company?” No sweat, just sign up here for your bailout. “Can’t afford to put gas in your big 'ole car when its $4 a gallon?” Well, here’s $4500 to put toward a new one.

What a wasteful society we’ve built ourselves…

Finally a president I can relate to!

The photo below appeared in the New York Post today. I have to say, I like the fact that I share something in common with our president for once (although, I think there's a photo of G.W. Bush checking out Queen Elizabeth somewhere).

I'm not sure if "horndog" is a requirement to be a democratic president or Obama's just been hanging out with Bill too much but I say it's not a such a bad thing. Lets the rest of us know that these people really are normal. I just don't want to hear any complaining about how much the lump Michelle puts on his head hurts.

"Barack Obama & Nicolas Sarkozy discover that the US and France really do have common interests"

Aw, to hell with non political posts. As I don’t think I mentioned before, I work in an electric motor factory in Juárez Mexico (no, I didn’t make that up for effect, its true!).

Sometimes I wonder about how this transpired. I mean, it’s not part of anybodies life plan to go work in what amounts to a war zone (more on that later). Never the less, it’s been interesting and when I think about how I ended up here I have to find someone to blame. That’s the American way after all. We don’t want to accept responsibility for what happens to us, must have been someone else’s doing.

My two favorite groups to blame are boardroom Republican types and unions. I could write a book about the first group but am far too lazy for that so I’ll stick with the latter.

Unions did a fine job for many years and once that job was completed they set out to fuck their members out of a job. No future for anyone in this country really other than those who sell ideas for a living (or porn).

I present to you what should be made into posters to be hung in all union halls across America. I took this photo while waiting in line to cross back into the US after work one day.

Here we have some teamster’s old truck serving its new master in Juarez. I find the juxtaposition of the pro union bumper stickers serving as bookends to the Mexican license plate to be far to appropriate.

If the driver actually understood the meaning and implications of the stickers on the back of his newly acquired vehicle no doubt he’d agree with the cause. After all, US unions have helped to ensure many a Mexican has a good job with ample benefits.