Gee Willikers, what’s up with the weird vernacular of Mitt Romney?

Mitt Romney seems to be stuck in some sort of slang wormhole. Some of his responses to questions people ask of him seem as if he’s walked off the set of Happy Days. For example, yesterday it seems that some poindexter he held down and tormented at his all excusive prep school came forward to tell the tale of when Mitt and some of his gang of tight actors held him down and called him a fruit. This was followed by a buzz cut to his bundie ass.


Romney’s response to this is that he really didn’t remember and if it did happen he’s sure it was “high school hijinx”. Hijinks? Really? Mitt, you sure it wasn’t just a case of the monkeyshines?

Then there’s the odd case of him telling People magazine that he “Tasted a beer once as a wayward teenager”. It’s like he stepped out of an episode of My Three Sons or something.

“By golly, I’ll run for President!”

What’s with this guy’s “shenanigans” anyway? Well, you’re lucky you’ve got the ace reporters of the Orange Folder Chronicles on your side Daddy-O.

It took me a while to figure it out but I finally discovered that his speech writers are using old copies of Archie comics to come up with his lines.

“Hey Betty, you thinking what I'm thinking?”