Thursday, March 28, 2013

The truth, as told by an honest liberal

There’s been a lot of talk about having some sort of ban on guns lately and being fans of shooting and blowing stuff up here at the Orange Folder Chronicles we felt we just had to weigh in on this. 

However, instead of a bunch of heartfelt verbal ejaculation like you hear from everyone else, we thought we’d go in search of some data.  You know, just to see what we could find…

OK, so here’s where it gets interesting.  Using the most biased liberal trash data I could find (Huffington Post of course) there have been 2,244 gun deaths (almost certainly including suicides, a favorite liberal trick to drive up the number) in the 98 days since the Newtown shootings.  Here’s their graphic  about it. 

Fluffy title in Huffpo: “Mapping the dead, Gun deaths since Sandy Hook” – In the 98 days since, guns have killed at least 2244 more people.
“Wow, maybe we should just ban people east of Dallas and in California from owning guns?”

Now that includes all gun deaths of any type.  From domestic violence to robbery to  suicide to accidental shootings.  Also included in there are the tiny number of deaths from mass shootings.  98 days is .268 of a year so let’s use a little extrapolation and make an assumption that that’s going to result in a steady 22.9 gun deaths a day (I even rounded up!) for the rest of the year (I know this is bad science but hey I got the data from a pretty sketchy source to start with).

That’s 8,359 gun deaths this year!  Wow, that sounds like a lot but when you compare it to real data about all types of death (CDC statistics - I trust them, they have real scientists working for them instead of journalism majors) you start seeing some real chinks in the arguments liars like Joe Biden make.  Here’s the CDC’s top tally of all causes of deaths population wide.

Sorry, no swanky picture, data is pretty boring.


1.       Heart diesise                                                  599,413

2.       Malignant Neoplasms (cancer)                   567,628

3.       Chronic lower respitory disease                  137,353

4.       Cerebrovascular disease                               128,842

5.       Accidents (unintentional                              118,021

6.       Alzheimer’s                                                       79,003

7.       Diabetes mellitus                                             68,705

8.       Pneumonia and flu                                          53,909

9.       Nephritis and other liver dieses                   48,935

10.   Intentional self-harm (suicide)                      36,909

What?  Gun violence isn’t in the top 10?  How can that be when Danny Trejo looks so scary and mean holding one?  Well it is there in a way.  Of the 8,359 gun deaths part of those will be under the 118,021  “accidents” in #5.  However, it’s not separated out – just like “death by drunken Camaro driver” isn’t either (bet there’s more than 8k of those a year).

“Eat lead muthafucka!”
Likewise, I’m assuming that out of the 36,909 people who got sick and tired of reading trash like the Huffington post, a maximum of one out of four of them could have shot themselves (however, that’s not going to leave any for all those dangerous home invaders to shoot so the real number must be less).

Now, if you are a guy who actually reads stuff like I do you too can learn how to twist data around to make it seem worse than it is.  Using this same set of data sorted to eliminate all the old white and Asian people who were going to die from bad eating habits anyway we can push gun violence up to the number one spot.

Rifling through the data reveals that among black people aged 15-34, assault is the number one cause of death. Now, if you wanna work for Huffpo, don’t mention that assault includes all forms of assault like with guns, knives, baseball bats, fists, numb chucks and frozen turkey legs and you’ve got graphable material there!

Isn’t parsing data fun? 

People, don’t be turnips here.  If Joe Biden wanted to do something “even if it will save one life” why is he concentrating on the bottom of the list?  Mandatory national flu shots would save more lives than banning assault rifles!

So, just because some old lady who looks she bakes a mean batch of chocolate chips cookies tells you that something’s the scourge of the nation doesn’t mean you have to be a brainless lemming and go along with it do you?

“Go ahead and ban guns puto, I’ll kill you by shoving this Dachshund up your ass!”

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