But seriously, how did this one make it by the nanny patrol? I love the leering look Mr. Claus is giving this concerned looking Ho as "Rudolf the wingman" looks on.

Random news brought to you from the far reaches of what's acceptable
"Well fuck you too buddy, but I win since I'm also racing a car while I'm insulting you"
PS: I freely admit I stole this photo from Hooniverse, who stole it from someone else. Not good form but how could I not share something this great.
Why does every Volkswagen on the planet have a "shocker" sticker on the bumper?
I have to be honest here and admit that there’s some dark sick and twisted part of me that really wants to walk in the local Bank of America with my Hello Kitty shotgun and demand a refund of my share of the TARP bailout money.
My personal favorite, however, is the limited edition Hello Kitty Kalashnikov with the optional knitted buttstock cozy.
“Hey guys, check out my pole!”
It sorta makes me want to get one and put it on and walk around the mall just to see what happens (not really, pepper spray and tazers leave a helluva hangover).
Looking like a perverted captain Ahab aside, who want to battle a monster trout by having a fishing pole jammed in their nuts anyway?
I suppose if you can get your mind off fishing for just a little while it might make sense. Can I see the catalog of attachments for it?
#4) Darth Vader collectible plate
This is going to look peachy in Nana’s china cabinet next to the Hummels.
“Use your change purse Luke”
Particulars from Channel 44 News about the crime:
Police collected 7 S&W .40 caliber shell casings from the street. The owner of "Funeraria Rios"Juan Rios, aged 43, and his employee, aged 34, both died at the scene.
This sort of crime is very common in Juarez and usually results from buisnesses not paying their "cuota" or protection money. Either that or someone wasn't pleased with the undertaker's work.
The Corporation for Public Broadcasting receives around $400 million from the federal government. Of that, about 75% is used to fund public television and the rest goes to NPR. According to the Washington Examiner, they get about $90 million a year from the federal government.
Recent debate in the House of Representatives is looking at cutting this expense as a means of deficit reduction (after all, aren’t there better ways to spend taxpayer’s money than on radio programming for people in rural Kanas? - "The object of this bill is to get NPR out of the taxpayer's pocket," said Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn. "It is time for us to be good stewards and save the money of the American taxpayer.")
http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/congress/2011/03/house-votes-cut-npr-funding
Now, I can’t really comment on that but two days ago, John Boehner, the Republican speaker of the house, started bashing the Obama administration over the establishment of a “no fly zone” above Libya.
He asked what the ultimate goal is in enforcing UN resolution 1973 and what the cost would be.
Well Boehner, we here at The Orange Folder Chronicles get what a dumb shit you are so here’s a little help answering the second part of your question (I can’t figure out the first part either so you’ll need to continue with your polite questions to President Obama on that one).
“Now wait a minute, you know math is hard”
I have no idea what it costs to fly a sortie in an F-15 and definitely don’t know about flying one in an F-16 so lets just stick to the cost of firing cruise missiles, which I figure is like the grownups version of a bottle rocket fight.
According to “The Guardian” (assuming you can trust limeys, which I think we can since they have such cute girls) the American’s have fired 168 missiles so far:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/25/raf-role-libya-no-fly-modest
Elisabeth Hurley, a trustworthy Brit
Kate Middleton, another cute chick from “Tealandia”
Also, according the US Navy (we know we can trust them, they never lie) each one of these costs $569,000, which compared to a bottle rocket is probably pretty reasonable since you get a much cooler explosion.
http://www.navy.mil/navydata/fact_display.asp?cid=2200&tid=1300&ct=2
It’s shaped like that for a reason
So mister Boehner, using my $2 Chinese calculator I get about $95,592,000 just for the missiles. Add to that the fuel for the sub (I think uranium is slightly higher than the $3.54 a gallon regular gas my Ford Ranger uses), the cost of paying all those sailors, the donuts you had in your office while writing your latest silly rant and so on. I think we can safely say that this little action cost a tad more than a years worth of stinking liberal biased radio programs. Does that help you out Mr. Speaker?
“So you say your Republican congress is making a lot of noise?” “Sell it, it’s a lemon!”