Thursday, February 19, 2009

Is the milk really $1.67 a gallon?

I've got a pretty bad bout of insomnia right now so I decided to go down to the Wal-mart market and get some stuff. I was out of coffee cream anyway and didn't go last night like I should have because I really am a lazy fucker. My plan was to get up 30 minutes early and go in the morning (we all know how much that sucks don't we?) but instead I got up 4 hours early.

Anyway, so I figured I might as well go get the cream. As I get up, I wake up my wife, not entirely by accident, thinking maybe there's something better to do than go to Wal-Mart at 3:00 in the morning. No dice, but she does have a grocery list for me. Her list reads like a plot for a hurricane, "Milk, eggs, bread and of course cream".

So I trundle down there and head for the milk case. Underneath the name brand milk (who buys this stuff? It's fucking milk, it comes out of cows, it's all the same) is the Wal-Mart brand and the tag says $1.67 a gallon. That can't be right, $2.50 a gallon is a smoking deal.

So I ask one of the weird non English speaking nocturnal stock trolls if the price is right. Apparently that was a really tough question because he had to consult with some others in his clan and finally get the guy who knows how to make fire and open bottles to answer for him. "Yes, that's the price" he says.

Now, given the quality of low rent 3:00 AM labor these days, I still don't trust him but I grab a coupla gallons, get the eggs and cream and bread and head for the counter. Dude was right, $1.67 a gallon.

I still think some sausage fingered stock boy entered this in the system wrong and it should have been $2.67 but what the hell. Maybe in today's economy the price of milk is dropping just like the price of oil (I hope the price of beer is next). Or maybe it's from China and the reason it's white is lead paint.

I think I'll go wake up my wife again and inform her of my good forture.

"Your cream is here"

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