Friday, February 20, 2009

My contribution to the universe of hate crimes

I came up with an idea today. I can’t say it’s the best idea I ever had but in some ways I think it just might have legs.

See, I think there needs to be a new group to persecute. Remember back in the 80s and 90s how “gay bashing” suddenly became a topic of conversation? I’d like to update this for today’s world. I don’t really think people should be beating up gays though, they really don’t “deserve” it.

Same with ethnic minorities. No, I don’t really have anybody who I think needs a beat down because of their race, gender, proclivities, or even what kind of car they drive (although those Honda kids with the fart can mufflers might need at least a “yer a fuggin’ moron” look).

So who then? Who really needs a hard ass smackdown? Well, after looking at my 401k today I have an idea. See, I want to go get a ski mask and a baseball bat and buy a ticket to New York. I’ll skulk in the shadows of some hot dog cart and when I spy the right ration of charcoal grey suit to spare tire and thinning gray hair on with the “banker bashing”.

I just have this image in my head of some reporter interviewing a disheveled middle aged man with twisted gold wire frame glasses, maybe a sleeve torn loose or a little blood, describing his horrific attack. And I'm amused about it...

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