Friday, April 24, 2009

Princess Leia vs. the missing sock monster

It has occurred to me recently that I just might end up in the soup line as a result of everyone out there being tight fisted with their money. I work for a company that makes electric motors for pools and spas. Even I have to admit that demand for hot tubs probably is pretty elastic during a “severe economic downturn” or whatever euphemism you prefer for “Great Depression 2.0”

So I’ve been trying to figure out what I could do for income should I lose my day job. As the three of you who read this blog are aware, I probably won’t feed the kids as a writer so I did some brainstorming and came up with some ideas.

Then I got realistic and threw out billionare playboy, race car driver, SUV salesman and most of the other things that most people aren’t going to pay for in a recession. So what do people have to have, I mean can’t live without? Food, water, someplace to sleep and probably sex.

After thinking about for at least a minute I decided that being a pornographer is something I’d probably like a lot. As a mater of fact, this is probably the best choice since the internet is still partially free. I could start a fetish site.

A quick bit of research turns up a scary bit of info though. Most of the imaginable fetishes already have their own websites. Turns out there are quite a few unimaginable fetishes with web sites too.

Guess what?, they seem to have conventions for people who want to dress up in surplus mall Easter bunny costumes and get it on (google “furries” if you really need to know). In addition to that bit of weirdness, it also appears that adult diapers aren’t just for jilted astronauts anymore.

All right, fuck it. I’ll just have to invent my own fetish and get people to join in (hey, if third rate sci-fi writers can invent religions there’s no reason I can’t do this).

The key to a good fetish is that is has to have just enough appeal to draw people in. Remembering my own adolescence, I hit upon the idea of the “Princess Leia slave girl” fetish. I mean, there’s got to be thousands, maybe even millions of slovenly fat kids who fancy themselves as Jabba the Hut.

I quick search of the internet didn’t reveal any preexisting Leia slave sites but I did find this photo, which means people out there have thought about it.

The third girl from the right has me rethinking my new career path

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